For several weeks now the question I get asked the most is, “What are you feeling?” Well, here is my answer.
I am writing this blog on the first long flight of our trip to Addis Ababa and at this point if I forgot to pack something, turn something off or tell Emily and Hayden something well, it is too late. So my thoughts are now consistently focused on what it is we are coming to Addis to do. I can not stop looking through my IPOD at pictures of the girls and really want to savor these next few days because I know I will never want to forget them. One thing that continues to pace through my mind is, how will they respond to us? From our standpoint I can’t help but think it will be emotional, filled with excitement and a bit awkward at the same time. As their mother I have been dying to hold them, give them hugs and cover their face with kisses but will they be confident enough to accept these signs of our love or will we have to earn that right? Will they want to spend time with us or not want to make the effort at this point to get to know us? Wow this really makes me think about how God desires a relationship with us and wants to hold us and be our father just like we desire this relationship with our daughters. He too wonders what our repsonse will be to him and the love he freely offers us. Will we reject his love or accept him as our caregiver without any reservations?
I also sit here wondering what emotions Bethaney and Katie are experiencing. We know they have been dreaming of being a part of a family for 3 years now and have even been told two times that they had a family who wanted to adopt them when in fact they had been mistaken with other children. I hope they know this is the real thing and are not questioning if we will really come. WE ARE ON OUR WAY GIRLS! Derek and I have no doubt that before Bethaney and Katie were even born that God had planned for these 2 beaftiful girls to be included in our family. If God is for us then who can be against us (not even the courts)! As I heard my sister once say, I am so glad that God’s plan for our family is bigger than anything we could have dreamed.